--to whom it may concern,I'd like to express my sympathy to Elvis Aaron Presley. the man, then a child was drug thru a three ring circus.most of this was due to the unending sway of his hips (and fine hair). i believe Aaron was twenty-one during the famous"above the waist" ed Sullivan show. (obviously his hair had nothing to do with the censorship of the kings pelvis)so, why do we owe the king an apology? because to the majority of the public, he is the pentacle, the almightyand the beginning. i can think of no better way to start this paragraph. how did we get from being appalled by asemi-sexual dance move to the likes of tila tequila. now, i can understand how someone could be appalled by agal named after a Mexican alcohol in a string bikini making out with male and female fools on public television. ican understand the appalling part, but not the nuts and bolts of this scenario. all i can do is pray to Allah and sayim sorry to Elvis Aaron Presley for not having his crotch shown to the masses over forty years ago. would we be inthe shape were in now if we'd seen the kings crown jewels? i have no definite answers. i guess we have madesome progress since then. as George Orwell put it "progress is not an illusion, it happens, but it is slow andinvariably disappointing". so as a formal apology and over all gosh darn it i'd also like to thank first and foremostthe great pretender Richard milhaus Nixon. so, im sorry dick for the way things turned out for you. you seemed like apremium human being compared to the African warlord named George w Bush. i'd also like to express mixed feelingsfor you appointing Elvis a special agent of narcotics and dangerous drugs. what if tony blair had given pete dohertyor Amy winehouse such credentials. a apology is due to Thomas Edison as well. the tazer and stun gun are theillegitimate children of thomas. im sure he'd would have had nothing to do with either one of them. im also sorry to CarynJohnson for renaming herself whoopie goldberg. i must salute her for realizing she not african american. she's a blackwoman of u.s. citizenship as im a white man of u.s. citizenship. i do not claim to be European American. WilliamShakespeare im sorry i do not believe you wrote all the shit they say you did. im sorry to the price is right and bob barkerfor being replaced by drew carey. mr carey does not, can not ,and will never fill bobs loafers. but maybe this is the pointi may have never wrote this if bob were replaced by a more noble and proficient counterpart. im sorry, or i feel sorry forcondelezza rice. she was a male in her childhood. now that she's grown up someone should donate there penis to her.Bridgette Bardow, i am sorry we never met. we would have made a perfect couple (i think) i am heartsick an apologetic tothe Indians of north america for being stripped of there land, culture, and language. my heart goes out to dayla for takinga bullet in a time of peace. my sympathy to pluto for being downgraded to a dwarf star. im sorry to the nineteen peoplewho were accused of trafficking with satan and executed in salem Massachusetts in 1692. im sorry Johann Sebastian Bachfor never getting to hear the sweet sounds of billie holiday, elvis Costello, or leonard cohen. im also sorry for thoseof you who dwell upon punctuation. i havent the time to proofread. im sorry.I REMAIN UNTILL I HEAR OTHERWISE, ULYSSES JESS SANDIDGE


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the real fight

THE REAL FIGHT
THE CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHT
TWELFTH ROUND
WILD LEGION OF EYES
VULGAR LASHING TONGUES
THE FLOOR SOAKED IN BOOZE
CUBAN SMOKE FILL THE AIR
BOXERS,BRAWLERS,SOLDIERS AND, SKIRTS
TEACHERS,DOCTORS,LAWYERS, AND BOBBY-SOXERS
THIS IS NO PLACE FOR SCHOOL GIRLS
BUT THEY ARE HERE
LADY LUCK, AQUA NET,AND TIT JOBS
GIZMO'S.NEONS,LED LIGHTS, AND A DISCO BALL
TAKE YOUR BETS
TAKE YOUR CHANCES
TAKE IT TO THE BANK
OR TAKE YOURSELF HOME
TKO WITH TEN SECONDS LEFT
HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
MILLION DOLLAR PURSE AND A BIG GOLD BELT
NOW THE REAL FIGHT
THE BRAWL
A TUSSLE
AND A SQUABBLE TO HIT THE DOOR
AND FIND THE CAR